Count your blessings by writing them down

Posted on by peeinpeace

I’m currently reading a book called 1,000 Gifts with some neighbor moms.  It’s a book about really thanking God for every gift in every moment, whether things are good or bad or ugly.  And her point is that she went on a quest to document a thousand thanks.  Now, the author, Ann Voskamp, is way too poetic, because somehow she gets giddy as a school girl about the moon, and her cup floweth over after photographing a plate of cheese hit by the sun’s rays “just so.”  That’s just not me.  But, the idea of documenting gifts as you notice them, and teaching yourself the discipline to seek them out in everyday life, is already proving to be a great takeaway.

One of our group discussions about the book prompted me to say I wanted to start a dinnertime tradition of everyone detailing something for which he is thankful.  Someone else chimed in and said her parents keep a jar on the table and they write down what they’re thankful for throughout the year, then pull out all the strips of paper and read them at the end of the year.  I decided I wanted to adopt this same principle.

A little more than a week ago we began because I finally found a little paper pack with the right size sheets.  (I bought a memo cube at Michael’s that is not sold online or else I’d link it here.)  I figure that whenever we eat dinner around our table, we will all share something we’re thankful for and write down at least one thing that’s said (probably we will vote on the best one as the kids get older so we have about 300 each year and not 1,200).  We are also writing the date down on the sheet.  Then we will put them in chronological order into a notebook at the end of the year.

You could also buy a family journal and just write directly into it.  Or if you’re really crafty, you could make a special “Thanksgiving” album and print off relevant photos from the year and include them.

The point of documenting these things is to remind us of how much we do have and how we could never count all of our gifts because there are too many.  But I’m also already finding that in doing this, we will essentially be documenting our lives.  Right now, Greg and I have to write them all down, but as our children learn to write, this will also become a journal of their handwriting and them maturing.  It will also reflect the good times and bad times, but things we treasure despite our circumstances.  We had two of our neighbor’s girls over for dinner the other night, and I had them participate, so it will also serve as a guest book of sorts, documenting who we had over for dinner on what dates over the course of our lives.

So far, we’ve documented the following:

8.6.11 We’re thankful God answered our prayers for good weather at Eliza’s birthday party, and Eliza is thankful for baby Liberty.

8.7.11 I’m thankful that you fixed my butterfly wings so I could wear them again. – Eliza

8.8.11 Though we had hoped for Eliza to be born on 8.8.08 because that would have been super awesome, we’re thankful she came a week before that because of how big she was.

8.11.11 I’m thankful for baby Chaaya. – Eliza; I’m thankful for our new art set up and my mommy and daddy protecting me.  I just love them SO much. – Adelaide; I’m thankful for Abbey (the dog).  Both Abbeys (our dog and her dog). – Sydney

8.12.11 We’re thankful for Greg’s safe return from his work trip, that Zach has figured out how to climb on Greg’s back for a horsie ride, and Eliza is insistent that she is most thankful, again, for baby Chaaya.

8.13.11 We’re thankful that Eliza’s learning to swim.

Just reading a week’s worth of our thanks, written down, brings a smile to my face.  It gives me the warm fuzzies.  If you have any suggestions on how our family can improve this process, or a similar tradition of your own, please let me know!  I don’t think it’s going to take us long to get to 1,000 Gifts.

Top 7 things that make my life easier right now

Posted on by peeinpeace

We all know we get by with a little help from our friends.  I thrive off of getting good tips and guidance from other moms.  And when I stumble upon something that works great for me, I love to share it with others.  So here are the top things that come to mind right now when it comes to making my life easier.  I hope you’ll chime in, too!

Keen shoes: I buy a lot of used things like clothes and toys, but I generally buy new shoes (or very gently used ones).  I think the marketers at Stride Rite convinced me that until age 5 or something, it’s very important for kids to have new shoes as they learn to walk and run (away from you).  I looked and looked for summer sandals that would work in and out of the water, protect my kids’ toes, have a whole heel, be comfortable and durable, and had good reviews.  I found Keens, and though pricey, they are worth every penny.  I have washed them in the washing machine and they don’t smell at all, even though my kids wear them just about every day without socks.  They still look new and I’ve had them a couple of months.  I am a believer.  I found mine online at backcountry.com for much less than they sell in retail stores.

Water Wow products:  These are great because you fill these “pens” with water and they draw, and unlike Color Wonder markers, they don’t need lids and won’t ever dry out.  The color is already built into the pages.  Eliza has not gotten bored with them, Zach is now using them, and every friend who has tried them has loved them.  They’re especially great for car trips and restaurants when your kids, like Zach, are still in a phase when they eat crayons.  I stumbled upon a couple of packs of these at Kohl’s and just went back for more.

The Good Nite Lite: Thanks to a reader recommendation, I FINALLY ordered one of these a few weeks ago and have been using it with Eliza.  It took three nights for her to understand that she couldn’t get out of bed until her “sun” came up.  Now she doesn’t come out of her room until after 7, and is sleeping past then sometimes.  It is magical.  I can’t wait until Zach is able to understand what it is.

Deceptively Delicious: Every time I tell someone I bought this cookbook, I hear something about some lawsuit.  I don’t care who’s suing whom; I care about getting my kids to eat semi-well-balanced foods.  I hear there’s another cookbook just like it called the Sneaky Chef.  Buy that one if you think she came up with the idea first.  The bottom line is it is genius and it is making me think more creatively about how to add nutrients to everyday foods my kids like.  And when I do my meal planning, I am looking to it right now for at least one or two meals a week.

Coated tablecloths and place mats: These are fairly expensive tablecloths that have acrylic coating, so they wipe clean like a countertop would.  I have ruined all of my machine-washable tablecloths with stains.  Not only are these coated linens machine-washable, but a sponge works really well at getting food off.  They are Ah-MAY-zing and well worth the money.  My kids spill spaghetti sauce on them, and hours later I wipe them perfectly clean without a trace of stain.  I have Le Cluny place mats that can be found online here, and I have a Sylvie Jourdan tablecloth.  You can find them on eBay.

Bull Frog Marathon Mist:  We are super anal-retentive about sunscreen.  I have tried kid sunblock after kid sunblock, and my kids always seem to end up burned or splotchy at best.  But I recently bought this continuous spray SPF 50 sunscreen and it’s fabulous.  It is so easy to spray on evenly, soaks in without feeling greasy, and protects them like nothing else I’ve found.

Evita, the silver bullet

My minivan:  I rock a swagger wagon, and am proud of it.  I’ve named her Evita because she has liberated me.  There really is nothing else like it for utility and value.  You tell me what other vehicle can haul 8 people, allow you to take out all the seating and transport 5 X 8 sheets of drywall or a dining room table and six chairs (like we did), and tow a 3,500 pound boat, all while getting 20+ miles to the gallon.  On a day-to-day basis, it’s also awesome that I can leave my double and single stroller in it with the back row folded down and fit all 6 bags of groceries I buy at the same time.

Going from two naps to one is not rocket science, but it sure can seem as difficult

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Zach slept through his first haircut ever (in March).  He never even opened his eyes.  My friend took pictures to prove it (and if she gets them to me, I will post one here).  It happened because he was transitioning from taking two naps to one, and he had been up too long, and he – was – zonked.  And more than three months later, he is still transitioning from two naps to one.  For every day he takes one nap, he has a day he takes two.

Changing from two naps to one happens around 15-months: the same time a child is teething either some molars or canines or both.  This is cause for extreme parental confusion because you often can’t tell if the child is over-tired and cranky or in pain, or both (which is SUPER fun for you, the parent).  There is no math formula you can use to deduce the answer of how and when to do it (as it is for many aspects of parenting, which drives someone like me crazy).

Maybe this hasn’t been your experience, but I found that with my first child, I often felt helpless because I didn’t really figure out what was wrong with Eliza until whatever the problem was had been resolved for a few days.  You can watch for the signs of teething, and your baby might have them all: low-grade fever, excessive drooling, spitting up, orneriness, and gnawing on anything he can get his hands on like your jewelry, furniture, the dog’s bones, and everything that’s NOT a teething toy (because neither of my kids actually wanted to chew on something meant for chewing).  But until you see that tooth start to come through the gums, you wonder if your child is getting sick, or has cancer, or has decided you’re a horrible parent and you can no longer console her because she wants a new mom.

So when Eliza started fighting taking a nap in the morning around 13 months, I thought she was in pain because she was teething, so  I continued my two nap schedule.  (And I probably pushed a bit more ibuprofen than the poor thing ever needed, but when you’re beyond done listening to screaming, you’ll medicate in case pain is causing the relentless episode.  Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.)  I tried to force her to sleep in the morning, and she would cry in her crib for, like, dozens of minutes.  And then she’d get so exhausted that she would crash at about 11 a.m. and take a three-hour nap.  And thus, she’d skip a nap altogether in the afternoon, and I finally put two-and-two together.  So after about a month of fighting her to take two naps, I gave in and at 14-months, she was taking one, nice long afternoon nap.  (It was easy to push her one nap about 10-15 minutes later every day for a few weeks until it was around 1 p.m.)

Of course my experience with Zach has been completely different because he’s 18-months-old and – as I mentioned above – he still naps twice some days.  But I’m much more likely to let him make the decision instead of force him to take a nap he clearly doesn’t want to take.  I know he’s a different child, but I’m also a different parent, too.

I was more rigid with Eliza, thinking, “You need a nap right now.  I know you do because you do every day at this time.  So you’re going to sleep even if you cry for 45 minutes.”  Now I can take Zach’s cues a little better and go with the flow a bit more.  But I will say he’s the more sensitive to pain of my two kids, so the fact that he’s been transitioning from two naps to one for several months has meant that he has teethed through all four molars and all four canines in the process, and that’s thrown me for a bit of a loop.

That said, I think I see a light at the end of this – in the scheme of things – short tunnel.  Until now, on the days Zach has been taking only one nap, he seems unable to take a LONG nap.  But he’s finally extending the length of the one nap, so I think we’re almost there.

It’s a good thing, because he already needs another haircut, and I don’t want to schedule one until I have a better idea of when he’ll be awake and when he’ll be asleep.

Focus on cherishing the season you’re in

Posted on by peeinpeace

It’s so easy to focus on the crazy.  When you’re a mom, whether working full-time, part-time, or staying at home, do you find yourself answering the question, “How are you?” with, “Crazy busy,” “just keeping my head above water!” or “I don’t even know what day it is”?  Why do we do that to ourselves?

I think I’m starting to go through an evolution where I don’t want to be crazy.  Busy, yes, but crazy, no.  I am finding that my kids are maybe just a little bit more fun these days.  I could fill pages and pages with Eliza-isms daily, and Zach melts my heart *almost* every time I look at him.  (He is exactly 18-months-old, and can say about 10 words, so he’s doing a lot of whining.  Whining does not melt my heart.)

They are fun.  I’m enjoying being in their company and teaching them.  I’m starting to realize how the law of reaping what you sow applies with parenthood.  And I feel that this calling on my life right now – staying at home – though not what I ever had in mind, is surprisingly fulfilling.

I’m attending a four-week study at church based on the book called, “The Invisible Woman” by Nicole Johnson (http://www.amazon.com/Invisible-Woman-Special-Story-Mothers/dp/0849918294/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1308251612&sr=1-1).  One thing I was forced to confront this week was a time when I felt invisible.  And oddly enough, God brought to my attention not moments of feeling unnoticed as a mom, but memories of feeling unappreciated when I worked.

I know that even though I did it only five months, being a working mom is beyond difficult.  Somehow we made it work, but the weekends were filled with errands, house projects went undone, the dry-cleaning pile was large, and the takeout menus stained from abuse.  I’m coming to terms with knowing that I would not be able to balance everything I want to balance without becoming crazy.

The grass really can seem greener on the other side (wanting to be at home if you’re working, wanting to be working if you’re at home), but sometimes what we can’t see are all the poop patties in-between the blades.  I’m coming into a state of contentedness that I haven’t yet felt as a stay-at-home mom, because I’ve always felt like this is just a temporary responsibility in the “formative years” so I can get back to being who I AM as soon as possible and still feel like I sacrificed the way I should have for my kids in the beginning of their lives.

Motherhood isn’t like that, though.  I’m starting to realize that I don’t want a job right now.  In fact, a friend offered me a lucrative writing position this week, and the thought of it made me wonder how I’d do it and still fit in all the time I want to make sure I get with my kids.  It was such an unexpected emotional response to an opportunity that a year ago, I probably would have jumped on.

I am coming to grips with knowing that I cannot plan my life out how I’ve thought I’d be able to do.  I might not ever work again.  I might go back to a corporate environment.  Maybe I’ll become a teacher, or maybe I’ll write part-time.  I am not sure what God has in store for my family and me, but I do know that this moment, right now, is a gift, and I am called to cherish it and be content in it.

And for once, I am relishing in knowing that’s how I feel.  Maybe I’ll go back to complaining about how crazy things are again tomorrow, but for right now, I am content.  It is an awesome place to be – and one where I pray you are, too, whether at work or at home.

Mess up fess up

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A mess takes only moments to make

I’m a bad mom.  As I usually have to make dinner while I have the kids around, I generally put on a TV show to keep them occupied.  (No, this isn’t the bad mom part.)  Last night they were giggling a lot, and I was distracted because I was making a new recipe, so I didn’t check on them.  That was a big mistake.  Exhibit A shows the damage they did, in a few minutes of I’m sure what they thought was good, clean fun.  That pile, before dinner, was folded laundry.

I lost it.  If you have an infant, you lose it when your baby wakes you for the third time in three hours, screaming, and you have no idea why.  And you shout in your head, “Shut the BLEEP up,” while wishing you could put her outside to sleep, just for a few hours so you could think straight again.  Of course, instead, you probably pick up your baby in your stupor and rock her as your anger needle drops, because rationalization overcomes your frustration.  (She is, after all, a defenseless baby.)

But when your kids are a little older, and they have brains that work, and you’ve told them before not to play with folded laundry, the anger that wells up from direct disobedience in a fleeting moment can overwhelm you.  I would go so far as to say I can have an out-of-body experience.  This isn’t a defenseless child; this is someone who made a conscious decision to combat you, just because it was fun, or just to see what you would do in return.  It is an ex-haus-ting, often daily, battle.

But (always afterwards) I realize that’s not a good reason to lose it.  I yelled about how I’d asked her not to do that before, and how that meant I would have to re-fold it, and how I don’t have time to do that, and it’s inconsiderate and mean to do such a thing to your poor mother.  And what that means is that all last night and all this morning, Eliza kept saying, “Mommy, you’re not happy with me.  You yelled at me.  I’m sorry” in a way that indicates the hurt I put on her was far worse than the frustration of re-folding laundry.  I forgot about re-folding the laundry by this morning.  Eliza, however, couldn’t forget hurting me in such a way that caused me to react like that.

I hope that next time I can look at the laundry pile and laugh, because my kids had a blast making the mess.  After all, it’s laundry.  I should be thankful we have clothes to wear, and a working washer and dryer to clean them, not to mention my floor was mopped earlier in the day, so the clothes were still clean.  Next time, I hope I can bring myself to say, “Oh gosh, that’s going to take some time to clean up.  Can you help me, because it’s okay to make a mess as long as you clean it up,” which would turn the situation into a teaching moment.

I hope next time I can react in such a way that doesn’t make me feel like a bad mom.  I’m not going to beat myself up over it anymore, because one thing my kids are already teaching me is that their grace, like God’s, is new each day.  And that reminds me that I might have bad moments, but I’m a good mom.

When traveling, in the words of Lone Starr: “Take only what you need to survive.”

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Spaceballs is a fantastic movie, a true classic.  There’s a part where Lone Star tells Princess Vespa to pack lightly for their walk through the desert.  They discover she has brought …

LONE STARR: What’s this?  I said take only what you need to survive.

PRINCESS VESPA: It’s my industrial strength hair dryer.  And I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT!

LONE STARR: Okay, princess.  That’s it.  The fairy-tale is over.  Welcome to real-life.  You want this hot-air machine?  You carry it.

The definition of a vacation, according to dictionary.com, is a “period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually for rest, recreation, or travel; recess or holiday.”

Why is it, then, that I usually come home from a vacation feeling like I need a vacation from my vacation?  Let’s face it: when you’re a parent, getting away with the kids is not going to magically suspend parental duties; and getting away without the kids leaves you with the stress of worrying about them while you’re away and a keen awareness of what’s piling up at home.

What makes it even worse is when the packing and unpacking become chores.  I spent four straight weekends from late March through late April traveling.  It seems the more into motherhood I get, the longer my suitcases, shopping bags and laundry piles remain sitting out somewhere they shouldn’t be once we’re home.  Sometimes it makes me wonder if traveling is even worth it.  Thus, here are some tips I’ve come up with to ease travel burdens (and I’m going to try to follow them ALL the next time I go somewhere):

1. Keep an electronic checklist of what you need to pack for each family member.  I especially found this helpful when I had to travel with pacifiers, bottles, pump parts, and the like.  I just keep adding and subtracting to this list every time we go somewhere.

2. If you travel often to the same place (as we do to Florida and Colorado to visit family), leave what you can there and keep an electronic, updated list of those items.  Then refer to it every time you are packing so you can know for sure what you don’t have to bring.

3. Keep a dopp kit for each family member that never gets unpacked.  It should have all the essential toiletries.  Remember – the key word is essential.

4. Buy sample sizes of hygenic items or make your own with small plastic bottles and tubes so you don’t have to pack or unpack the big bottles.  If you come back from a trip and the little shampoo bottle is running low, refill it right then.  All of your liquids SHOULD fit in a quart-sized zip top plastic bag.  Keep this bag packed and ready to go so all you have to do is grab it.

5. Leave the industrial strength hair dryer and other items you really can survive without at home.  Now that I’m a mom, I rarely take jewelry or non-essential makeup on trips.

6. Be creative with what you take so you can mix and match four items to make six outfits – a skirt, a pair of shorts or pants, and two shirts should allow for six combinations of outfits.

7. If you can’t plan to do laundry and the weather is pretty predictable, pack one extra outfit in your carry-on and otherwise, pack exactly the number of outfits you need for each day you’re gone – and no more.

8. For short trips, choose items from your closet that will all go with the same purse and shoes.

9. Stuff socks (or bras or panties, if you dare) in your shoes to save space.

10.  Inevitably, things don’t fit back into your suitcase to come home as well as they did when you left.  I always pack folded clothes on the way out and then roll each item to re-pack the suitcase.  Rolling your clothes makes them take up less space, making room for the items you (inevitably) bought.

11. Take extra plastic bags for dirty clothes or wet ones; when re-packing to return, I always make a “dirty clothes” suitcase filled with everyone’s dirty things (that are literally just thrown in) and a “clean” suitcase.  The dirty one goes straight to the laundry room and the clean one goes straight to a bedroom (where it often sits for days on end).

If I follow all the above tips the next time I travel, I know I will be more at ease and have less stress upon return, when life goes back to “ludicrous speed.”  You just gotta love that movie!

Dinner dilemmas and solutions

Posted on by peeinpeace

If you want to be cured of perfectionism, become a parent.  I can’t tell you how much I am struggling to rid myself of this terrible disease, especially in the area of meals.

Before having kids, I definitely looked down on other parents for allowing their kids to eat McDonald’s and other fast food.  Just the other day I told Eliza we were leaving the library, and she said, “So we’re going to stop at Old MacDonald’s for lunch and get chicken nuggets and then go home and eat and then take a nap.  Okay?  Okay.”  How quickly they learn what’s behind the facade of those golden arches.  It’s amazing how living out being a parent can quickly change you.  I read a friend’s Facebook post about how she had two glasses of wine, a fudgesicle and a sleeping pill for dinner (sounds good to me!) and her daughter had pot stickers and chocolate milk.  And instead of thinking about how awful that was (which is what she was implying), I thought, “Hmm, cabbage, meat, carrots, dough, oil, milk and chocolate.  That just about covers all the major food groups.”  See, I’m changing.

But kidding aside (because I do have to laugh about my kids’ eating habits, otherwise I would cry even more than I do already), I daily struggle with getting them what they need.  It baffles me how a child can eat just about every vegetable known to man between the ages of six months and a year, only to shun every single one of them by the time she’s 18-months-old.  Once you add another child into the mix, it just becomes more stressful, because every child has different tastes.  (And I’m sure each subsequent child exponentially worsens the problem and can plunge you deeper into becoming a short order cook.)

Right now, Zach is anemic and Eliza’s iron levels are low.  I am constantly walking a tight rope, where one side is force-feeding what they need, and the other side is letting it go.  I try to stay in the middle, constantly offering good, nutritious food (along with special treats) and trying not to freak out when they refuse to eat it.  I often require Eliza to eat a certain number of bites of whatever it is we’re having before she can be finished.  But I also try to make meals that all our family can eat, which is very hard to do when you have a 16-month-old, a 2-and-3/4-year-old, and two adults whose idea of a delicious meal is a soy-ginger glazed filet of salmon on top of a bed of pea shoots.  (If that sounds good to you, too, the recipe is here: http://aveceric.com/wp/recipes/season-1/seared-salmon-with-sauteed-pea-shoots-and-ginger-soy-vinaigrette/)

So, I figured I’d write about a few of the ways I TRY to keep my sanity when it comes to feeding my kids.  Let’s face it – it’s one of the biggest struggles because they MUST EAT TO SURVIVE.  Please, if ever you were to comment with helpful tips, now would be the time I would beg you to do so.

1. Meal planning – I generally don’t go to the grocery store without planning.  I take a list based on the 4 or 5 dinner meals I plan to cook.  I plan the week’s meals out on either Sunday, Monday or Tuesday (depending on when I get the energy and make the time).  When I run out of inspiration and ideas, I look to the cookbooks and cooking magazines I have on-hand.  To help plan out the week’s meals, I use the “What to Eat” pad from Knock Knock Stuff (http://www.knockknock.biz/catalog/categories/pads/kk-pads/what-to-eat-pad/).  I write my grocery list each week on the back of the “What to Eat” sheet from the previous week.

2. I keep a list of meals that get eaten –  It’s impossible to remember what works for each kid and also what they BOTH end up liking.  Plus, their tastes continue changing and evolving.  So, if I need some go-to foods or meals, I consult this list.

3. Breakfast is key – My kids eat the most in the morning when they are hungriest.  I take advantage of this and generally cook old-fashioned or steel-cut oatmeal with fruit, or I make them a spinach and cheese omelet, or I do both.  (I keep a frozen bag of spinach instead of the boxes of it, so I can dump a few ounces in a glass bowl with some water and heat for 30 seconds and voila – have a serving of spinach.)  I save cereal for those mornings I just don’t have energy.

4. Sneaky sneaky – I add pumpkin to pancakes, parsnips to mashed potatoes, and do things like roast kale and call it “potato chips.”  (At the very bottom is my recipe for kale and Eliza loves it!)  If you make it fun and cool, your kids are more likely to eat it.

5. Don’t give up – I am constantly reminding myself of this.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve planned a great meal, served it, and been greeted with blank stares and, “I don’t like its.”  It is frustrating and exhausting.  But just like every other parenting challenge, you must not give in and stop trying.  If you eat a wide variety of healthy and nutritious foods, your kids will, too.  You just have to stay the course.

6. Don’t give in – Eliza has to at least try every food I put in front of her before she can leave the table.  My friend, Debbie, has a five bite rule.  Your kids will not die if you force them to eat food they don’t like that you know they need.  Remember, you’re the parent and you know best.

7. Give yourself a break – Date nights or nights when you put the kids to bed and cook together with your spouse or a friend are the perfect times for making a pizza or heating up some frozen chicken nuggets and sweet potato fries for the kids.  I will be the first to tell you – it is OKAY to do this sometimes!

This will not be the last time I write about meals and planning them, I’m sure.  I’ll try to post some of my kids’ favorite recipes over time.  For now, tell me what YOU do!  We can all use a little inspiration, even those of us who are perfect.  😉

KALE CHIPS – enough for a small side dish; ingredients: kale, about 1 Tbsp. olive oil, salt and pepper to taste
Preheat your oven to 375 and make sure there’s a rack pretty far from the heat (if your burners are on the bottom of the oven, put the rack near the top and vice versa).  Get out a big cookie or baking sheet.  Then pull all the kale leaves off their stems, and while doing so, break the leafy parts into small pieces of equal sizes, like a small potato chip.  As you’re breaking them apart, put them straight onto the baking sheet.  What you want to do is make sure all your kale “chips” are the same size and thickness.  Some kale is big and thick, and some of it is more “baby,” so the leaves are thinner and curlier.  So try to separate them out even to that degree so you bake “like kale” with “like kale.”
Once you have a tray full so the pieces are all in one layer, drizzle about a tablespoon of olive oil on it, and sprinkle on some salt (I use kosher) and freshly grated pepper.  Mix it all together with your fingers so all pieces have some seasonings and oil on them.  Bake them for 11-13 minutes, watching them at 10 minutes.  They go from perfectly baked to burned in about 1 minute.  So as the thinnest pieces start to turn brownish, you know they’re done.

How to survive a lengthy road trip with young ones

Posted on by peeinpeace

From December 6th through January 6th, our family slept in 8 different places.  We packed up our new minivan with the kids and the dog and headed south to see family, friends, and go on a cruise.  It was … amazing, fun and exhausting.  It made me realize the extended road trip can be a part of the type-A mom’s travel repertoire with the right tools.  Here’s what I learned that I will remember for the next one:

1) Drive as much as you can when your kids would normally be asleep.  If you have young children like we do, this is a must.   We had a 15-hour drive, and we set out right when afternoon naps should have begun.  They slept well, then hung in there a couple of hours until we stopped for dinner.  After dinner, we drove another four hours before stopping for the night – and they slept then, too.  So we made it halfway without the kids really making any noise at all.

2) Break up the drive. Don’t expect little kids to be able to sit in their car seats for more than about three-to-four hours at a time (whether they’re sleeping or not).  You can plan fun, half-day stops at destinations along the way if you’re not on a timetable (think South of the Border).  Or if you just need to “get there,” seek out the Cracker Barrels (because between the rocking chairs and store inside you can keep a two-year-old entertained) and the Chick-Fil-As with indoor playgrounds (so your kids can spend some energy regardless of what the weather is like – and sanitized hand wipes are provided).

3) Have a portable DVD player. When we recently bought our minivan, Evita the Silver Bullet (aptly-named because she has liberated us and has 248 horsepower), we decided against the installed entertainment system.  Instead, for a third of the cost, we purchased an iPad and bought the case that attaches to the back of a headrest.  This was the most important item we had for achieving peace in the car.  We loaded it full of episodes of “Dora the Explorer” and a few movies, as well as educational apps that entertained Eliza for 15-20 minutes at a time.

4) Pack a lot of snacks. It’s amazing how tiny pieces of food can not only stave off boredom and hunger, but also buy you quiet time.  Raisins, Cheerios and Goldfish are some of the best options for keeping kids happier longer.

5) Sit with your kids. For parts of the drive when we knew both kids would be awake, one of us sat in-between the two car seats to help entertain them.  This especially made a difference with Zach, our one-year-old.

6)  Pack long-term and short-term bags. Put items you won’t need for the drive in heavier, larger suitcases that get packed underneath everything else.  Pack smaller, weekender-type bags with all the essentials.  That way, loading and unloading all of your stuff along the way into random hotels won’t be as much of a hassle.

7) Play games and sing songs. Take turns choosing who gets to be in charge of the radio and make sure your kids hear some music that they like.  When my kids get older, I know I will play the same game my parents played with us.  If you grow up near farmland, you will inevitably see cows.  My parents always promised us a dime for every cow we caught peeing and a quarter for every one we caught pooping.  You’d be amazed at how long you can entertain children who are straining to see whether a cow is peeing or pooping while they fly by your car window at 70-miles-per-hour.  I have also pre-emptively bought a “ROAD TRIP BINGO” game.  (www.knockknockstuff.com).  I’m excited to play that when the kids get older.

Our maiden voyage in Evita turned out great, and we look forward to the next trip, whether it’s just a weekend or another whirlwind.

Parenting is so challenging because every child presents different challenges

Posted on by peeinpeace

If he only looked like this all night long

Parenting is not like math, unfortunately for those of us who enjoy formulas.  No, it’s definitely more like poetry or impressionistic painting.  Sometimes you get it, sometimes it makes no sense; sometimes up close, in the words of Cher from “Clueless,” it’s just a big old mess.

Before having Eliza, I read the book “Baby Wise” for advice on getting her to sleep well.  I decided that if I followed its principles, it would be nearly impossible to have a child who didn’t sleep well.  Wouldn’t you know, Eliza was sleeping 8 hours through the night consistently by 11 weeks.  (Looking back, I believe God was just being gracious because of the injury she caused when she exploded out of me on the third suction attempt, causing a fourth degree tear.)  She slept 12 hours a night from about 5 months on and has never looked back (except of course for her two-month-long battle with night terrors from July to September last year that I am still trying to forget and never blogged about because, as I just said, I don’t want to remember it).

Throughout Eliza’s infancy, I smugly and silently scoffed in my head at the moms who told me, “Well, Johnny’s always been a great sleeper, but Emily’s my one who still wants to get up several times a night.”  I thought it must be the parents who screwed up, got lazy, or didn’t follow through.  I looked forward to following the same formula with Zach and – POOF! – sleeping well again by the time he was three-months-old.

I was very, very wrong to make such an assumption.  Zach turned one a couple of weeks ago and he is still not consistently sleeping through the night.  All along as I’ve tried to train him to sleep and then found myself having entire two-sided debates in my head about the benefits and drawbacks of going into his room, I’ve thought, “At least by the time he’s one this won’t happen anymore unless he’s sick or teething.”  (The day I learn not to make assumptions about what should and should not happen developmentally for my kids on my self-determined time line will be very liberating indeed.)

The thing is, I followed the “Baby Wise” formula again.  I couldn’t be as rigid and calculated about it because I had another toddler to manage, but I followed it.  The problem is two-fold: he is a second child and he is a different child.  It was a whole lot easier to let Eliza cry it out to get herself to go to sleep because there wasn’t another child in the house she could wake.  Not only that, but for her, “crying it out” meant letting her fuss for a few minutes and then enjoying the silence.  For Zach, it turns out that crying it out is an inexorable affair that causes me to wonder, “If I put him outside in the backyard and go back to sleep, will the neighbors be able to hear him?  And if they call the police, will I have broken any laws?”  These eternal screaming fits eventually and inevitably wake Eliza, and then we have two inconsolable babies with which to deal.

I’ve tried two or three times (I can’t remember exactly because sleep deprivation inhibits memory retention) to let him cry it out for days on-end.  I also follow the rules about not picking him up when he cries.  If I go into his room, it’s just to rub his back for a few seconds and replace his pacifier.  He will randomly sleep through the night without a peep, as he did two nights ago.  Then he’ll have a night like last night when he screamed for more than an hour.  It just doesn’t make sense.

So if you are a mother out there and you have figured out the formula for getting a child like Zach to be able to self soothe when he wakes, I’m all ears for suggestions.  Just don’t expect me to be able to do it unless it’s X + Y = blissful sleep.

 

They really do grow up so fast

Posted on by peeinpeace

Just today, we went to two birthday parties, and it really dawned on me how quickly time flies with little kids.  We celebrated the first, second and third birthdays of three friends, and it just didn’t seem possible.  It’s like, one day they’re learning to walk and the next they’re telling you to shut up.  Or one day you are rubbing baby lotion all over your little girl’s bottom and the next she’s putting on makeup.

In Eliza’s case, she’s actually already doing that.  This morning we were heading out the door, and I asked her if she was ready to go.  She said, “No, I need lipstick.”  Then she reached into my purse, grabbed my Chapstick, pulled off the lid, applied it liberally on her lips and the general area around them, and then put the lid back on and put it back in my purse.  She also told me as I tried to simultaneously strap her into her car seat and get her to give me her party favor bag, “I’m busy.”

It’s one of those days where I’ve been struck hard by the idea of just how long some days can seem minute-by-minute, but how the months and years fly by.  I also went shopping today to get the kids some much-needed warmer clothing that fits, and I couldn’t believe how little baby clothes were – and especially that my children don’t fit in any of those clothes now.  I had to find the 2Ts and the 12-month stuff.

I’m not sure that I really have a point except to say that as tough as any difficult moment may seem, each breath is truly a gift to cherish.  It’s so awesome to watch these two little ones grow up.  I want to make sure I focus on that at least once every day.  Because the next kid’s birthday I’ll be celebrating will be Zach’s – and it is impossible to believe that he will be one next month.