10 physical feats I didn’t know I was capable of until I became a mom.

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1.  Natural child-birth. It turns out that if your baby takes fewer than two hours to come out, it’s really not that bad because you don’t have any time to think about the pain (or get the anesthesiologist).

2.  Carrying the equivalent of a 40 pound bag of dog food up and down stairs multiple times a day. Eliza weighs 25 pounds, Zach weighs 18, and yes, I carry them at the same time despite how dangerous it seems every time I do it.

3.  Tuning out sounds while awake. I often don’t hear Eliza the first 14 times she calls my name, but the 15th often reaches my inner ear.

4.  Hearing everything when trying to sleep. Conversely, I didn’t know I could sleep so lightly that my child’s cough, sneeze, or even sigh wakes me up.

5.  Skipping meals cluelessly.  Yes, I’ve skipped meals before, but normally it’s because I think about eating and just can’t manage to pull myself away from an activity.  Until I had kids, I never skipped meals without knowing it.

6.  Sleep deprivation. I had no idea I could function on the equivalent of 5 or 6 non-consecutive hours of sleep a day for weeks and even months on end.  The Army has conducted multiple sleep studies, and has found that we shouldn’t go more than three straight weeks on five hours a night without expecting a loss of brain function.  Now I know why I feel so dumb and forgetful.

7.  Pinching off diarrhea to finish at a later time.  That’s all I’m going to say about that.

8.  Going five days without washing my hair. In my defense, Greg was out-of-town and I had been to the salon, so it was “styled” that whole time.  I know people who have completed outward bound or hiked the Appalachian Trail have probably done this, but that doesn’t count because that’s outside of living in “society.”

9.  Cooking, holding a baby, talking on the phone, and watching a toddler all at once. Becoming a mom has truly changed my definition of multi-tasking.

10.  Pumping hundreds of hours and in random places. I’m not only a member of the mile-high pumping club, but I’ve pumped countless times in the car (sometimes while in motion, other times in parking lots).  I’ve pumped in the bathrooms at wedding receptions, ski resorts, and even a black tie award event for my husband.

I’m curious to know what you have done that’s tested your physical abilities since becoming a mom.

My little know-it-all

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There is so much truth in sayings like “she’s just a chip off the old block.”  Eliza’s two favorite things to say right now are, “I can do it” and “I know.”  (Right now my mom is already keeled over in hysterics because I’m pretty sure these were the first two phrases out of my mouth.)

For example, these are normal conversations we have on a daily basis.  (In fact, these all happened this morning.)

Me: “Eliza, would you like me to help you strap yourself in?”  Eliza: “No I can do it.”

Me: “You are just TOO cute.”  Eliza: “I know.”

Me: “Let’s put on your shoes.”  Eliza: “I can DO IT!”

Me: “You look so fancy with your sunglasses on.”  Eliza: “I know.”

Even though I don’t remember saying these things to my parents (perhaps in part because I was too young to have a recollection of it, and perhaps a little from what I will call “protective mental blockage”), they have told me stories about me acting the exact same way when I was a little girl.

They have also assured me throughout my life that they prayed God would give me a daughter just — like — me.  (Does EVERY parent say this?)  It appears they got their wish.  What I’m wondering is if that is so bad.  Am I best equipped to deal with a know-it-all because I myself am one?  (For example, this weekend I went to dinner with some girlfriends and the restaurant made the mistake of putting white paper over the tablecloth, inviting us to display our creativity.  What I decided to do was play tic-tac-toe, among other things.  I told my friend, Irene, after starting the first game and winning, “If you start in tic-tac-toe and lose, there’s something wrong with you.  Okay, you start this game.”)

What if our kids came out nothing like either parent?  Wouldn’t that be harder?

I imagine from knowing both of my parents’ personalities that they BOTH were guilty of saying “I know” and “I can do it” to my grandparents.  And they all survived.  So cheers to the hereditary cycle.  My “apple of my eye” certainly didn’t fall far from the tree.

The final installment: Fully potty trained and loving it

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There were times it seemed it might never happen, but I can say with confidence that Eliza is 99.9% potty trained.

She is successfully getting all her waste in the appropriate places, whether we’re home or away.  She uses training potties, public toilets or other people’s bathrooms.  I still have her on Miralax and will continue to give her the “magic” dose for her – 3/4 teaspoon – until I run out of it.

I think because we stuck with it she has done well.  It was really hard to deal with a month of poopy pants and there were many occasions when I wanted to throw in the towel.  I think she made the decision easy because it wasn’t that she wanted to poop in her diaper, but rather that she didn’t want to poop at all once she figured out she could control it.  However, the Miralax did its job eventually.  I am still weaning her off of expecting chocolate and a Dora sticker every time she has a BM, but I think that is in the near future.

I carry around a foldable Disney princess potty seat and she seems to like using it.  (I wipe it down with an antibacterial wipe after each use.)  She uses a padded Elmo seat on the regular toilets at home.  And sometimes she likes to use her training potties, especially when she just has to pee because she can do the entire process all by herself.

Every once in a while (such as in the car on the way to the beach when she woke from a bad dream) she has an accident.  But they are few and far between.  I spoke to a mom at a birthday party yesterday who said it took a year to potty train her daughter.  So I’m really glad that it didn’t come to that.  That really would feel like forever.

What traveling with two has taught me

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Last week I took the kids to the beach for a few days while Greg traveled for work.  (Notice I did not say I took a vacation.)  Here are a few things I learned about embarking on such an adventure.

Toddlers and mobile infants do not like being strapped down for long periods of time.  By long, I mean more than half an hour. This might seem obvious, but if you know you’re going to have to immobilize them, you’re going to have to accept and prepare for the fact that you will have to stop.  A lot.  On the way to the beach, our first stop was prompted by Eliza about 20 minutes in, who was screaming.  She had started to nod off but woke in her usual way these days when she has night terrors.  I decided to fill up the tank and check on her.  At the gas station I chose to hold my already full bladder to avoid taking both kids into the bathroom because Zach was asleep and Eliza said she didn’t have to pee (and had calmed down).  About three seconds before entering the on-ramp again, she said, “Pee, pee, PEE PEE!!”  So, our first stop became two stops.  I lugged both kids into a Burger King bathroom to find Eliza had wet herself.  I checked her car seat.  Wet.  I guess whatever dream she had about dogs barking scared her enough to pee.  I changed her clothes and strapped her back into the damp seat.  The next stop was prompted by Zach crying, who needed to eat.  The final stop was prompted by Google maps, which clearly screwed up its satellite imagery of how to get from 295 North onto the Atlantic City Expressway via routes 168 and 42.  (Of course it was now rush hour as well, so every wrong turn meant more time sitting doing nothing on a course to nowhere.)  I’m not sure what town is in the middle of all that, but I had to get out at a convenience store in what I think was a poor suburb of Philadelphia with both kids and get help.  Zach also screamed for the last half hour of the trip before arriving at the rental house, but I was NOT going to stop again.  (I knew I would just be prolonging the torture.)  The point is that what should have been a 3 1/2 hour trip lasted 5 hours, 15 minutes.  You have to assume the journey will require lots of stops for young children and take about 25-40% longer than it should.

Have a plan to keep them busy when they must be in car seats.  I had planned to take the drive over afternoon nap time so the kids would sleep, and that at least bought me some quiet time.  (Of course, Eliza did not sleep at all on the way back after we stopped for lunch, but Zach did – until the last half hour, when he decided to scream.)  I was going to borrow my friend’s portable DVD player, but she couldn’t find the cord for it at the last minute.  Having Dora along for the ride would have helped a LOT.  Instead, Eliza wanted to sing songs she knows over and over and over again until we were hoarse.  If I would stop singing, she would say, “bitsy spideh gain, BITSY SPIDEH GAIN!”  I’ve also heard you should take a trip to the dollar store and get some new toys so you can keep your kids occupied.  Snacks that take a long time to eat (such as raisins or goldfish) are also helpful.  I put them in the snack trap cup for Eliza so she would only minimally spill them everywhere.  Of course, it is not easy to pass food and toys back from the driver’s seat, which leads me to my next point.

If at all possible, have a one-to-one adult-to-child ratio. This, I have already learned, is the key to a successful trip anywhere with little ones – the aquarium, the zoo, the mall – and especially a multi-day outing.  Of course, there are times you have to, or even want to, travel with them alone.  I definitely prayed several times that God would keep me from crashing while driving as I wrangled my right arm around behind me to hand Eliza food or fish around for her blankie that she dropped.  If someone had been in the passenger seat, the drive itself would have been much safer.  At the beach, there was never the same group of moms and kids there, but my friend who organized the trip brought a babysitter as well as her sister-in-law, and I am being honest when I say I couldn’t have done it without their help.  Looking back, I think most of my conversations began with, “Would you mind holding Zach while … ” or “would you watch Eliza while … “.  Everyone pitched in, which was great.  I honestly think they felt bad for me.  It’s kind of weird to hear someone say, “It’s very different to hear you talk about how hard it is with the two of them versus living it.  This is great birth control!”

No matter how hard it is, you have to do it. It takes guts and a lot of work and planning, but what’s the alternative?  I’m pretty good at keeping my kids on a schedule because I really value how important sleep and routine are to growth in their early years.  But sometimes, you have to get out and do things.  And there’s something to be said for teaching your children to be flexible and how to adapt to different situations.  Of course they didn’t eat or sleep as well as they normally do, but they had a great time and experienced something new.  One of the most important things I’m taking away from this trip is that I have to plan the next one.

But I hope in-between I get a real vacation, which would entail leaving the kids at home.

Toddler chores: it’s not child labor

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A lot of my parenting attitude comes from thinking that whether I do it now or later, I have to teach my children, well, almost everything.  So I think I’m a bit ambitious with things I think Eliza should be able to handle and sometimes I end up frustrated, having to remind myself how old she is.  However, I think 18 months is a good time to begin teaching kids a few ways to help out.  In fact, before she was 18 months, Eliza knew how to take her dirty diapers to the diaper pail and toss them in it properly.  When Zach was born, I could keep her busy with throwing out his diapers while I finished changing and redressing him.  Here are other things with which she already helps (and how I use these as teaching moments):

1) Dishes – Eliza unloads and loads our silverware.  Yes, she hands it to me to put it in the drawer, so it doesn’t actually help save me time, but it keeps her occupied while I get other things put away.  This is how I taught her what knives, spoons, and forks are, and how she’s learned what big and small are as well (big spoon, little spoon, for example).  She is now learning how to put away other items that go in lower cabinets, like plastic cutting boards.

2) Laundry – She throws dirty clothes into the hamper.  When I wash the laundry, she helps put clothes into the washer, move them from the washer to the dryer, and put them in a laundry basket for folding.  I’m now starting to include her on sorting whites, lights, darks and delicates, which gives us an opportunity to work on learning colors.

3) Tidying up – I don’t just sigh and pick up all of her toys at the end of the day, complaining about the mess.  She knows how to help and we sing a “clean up” song so it’s fun.  (Okay, maybe sometimes I sigh and do it myself, but at least she’s not averse to helping.)

4) Feeding Zach – Yes, he might be feeding himself with a spoon by the time she gets it down, but Eliza BEGS to help feed him, so she sits on my lap and gives it the old college try.  It doesn’t really help because it takes longer, but it does keep her occupied and he loves it.  Plus, she’s refining her motor skills.

5) Feeding the dog – She can’t do it alone just yet, but she enjoys scooping out the dog food and putting it in Abbey’s bowl.  This is great because it often spills, so she’s learning how to walk gingerly while carrying something that might spill.

6) Spills and messes – She likes to use sponges and paper towels, so whenever she spills something, or when I want to wipe down the dining room table, she helps.

I’m interested in knowing what ways your toddlers and pre-schoolers help you out.  I’m sure there are other things I could be teaching Eliza that I can get out of doing myself sooner rather than later, so thanks for any input!

TIPS: Homemade baby food can be a cinch

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Yes, it’s convenient to buy baby food for when you’re on-the-go or when you just don’t have time to make some fresh food.  But if you do a little planning and you cook big batches at once, you can feed your baby less expensively and more wholesomely.  Below are some tips for how I do it.  If you have anything to add, I’d love your feedback!

1) You should have on hand, at the very least: a) a steamer insert for a lidded saucepan, b) an immersion/hand blender (preferable), a blender, or a food processor, and c) a baby food cookbook.*  You do not need a special baby food maker (such as a Beaba cook – see my other post regarding this) or a food mill (though it does help with things such as peas and corn).

2) If you pick one morning and one night that are 3 1/2 days apart in the week to cook for your baby, you can make enough food for the entire week.  For example, pick Saturday mornings (when it might be easier to have someone else watch your kids) and Tuesday nights.  Or, if you’re not that much of a planner, you can cook as you need it or realize you are running out.  Sometimes I’m not good at planning ahead, but when I get low on Zach’s food supply, I’ll make it a take-out night so that after the kids go to bed, I have the energy to cook for him.

3) If you DO have several ways to cook baby food, you can make more batches at once and thus save time.  So, when I make anything on the stove, I also run something in my Beaba cook simultaneously.  Now that Zach is eating more “meals” (such as onion, carrots and chicken cooked in stock and finished with cheese), I can cook those in a large saute pan while I steam a vegetable in my stove-top steamer AND cook some fruit in the Beaba cook.  (If I were really ambitious, I’d also cook him a grain at the same time.)  I can make a bunch of food in about 45 minutes total from start to finish that way.

4) Some baby foods are super easy to make on-the-go and don’t need to be cooked at all.  If you know you’re going to be out for breakfast, pack some baby cereal and a ripe banana with a small mixing bowl and a fork to mash it together, and you’ve got a meal.  If it’s lunch, take a cooler bag and mix some fruit or veggie puree with some plain yogurt or soft tofu.  When we go out to dinner, I just heat up what I would have fed him at home to a pretty hot temperature, and when we get seated in the restaurant, I feed it to him and it’s still warm.

5) Once you know your baby likes a certain food or meal, then make larger batches at once and freeze the excess (that you won’t use within 3 days) in ice-cube trays wrapped in plastic wrap.  Then transfer them to plastic zip top bags once frozen and label them.  Or, if your baby is a little older and you need larger servings, you can freeze them in disposable tupperware.  I like the Gladware mini-round containers because they hold 4 oz. each.

6) I try to label my baby food containers with what’s in them and the date they were made.  I highly recommend using erasable labels by LabelOnce.  I found mine at The Container Store.  http://www.jokari.com/labelonce/product/items47802_47803.html

7) Once your child has had “first tastes” of the different food groups, try making it easy on yourself by picking food groups to feed at each meal instead of worrying about specific fruits, vegetables, grains or proteins.  For example, I now feed Zach some fruit and grains at breakfast every day.  Sometimes he also gets a protein with it from yogurt.  For lunch, he gets fruits and/or vegetables, and a protein from either dairy, meat or beans.  For dinner, he gets vegetables and a protein at the very least, and sometimes he gets grains and fruit.

8) Because it’s summer and lots of fruits and vegetables are fresh and in season, introduce your baby to these.  Zach is currently eating a lot of melons, peaches, nectarines, pluots and plums.  If they’re very ripe, they don’t need to be cooked and can be mashed together or with banana with just a fork.

I think that’s all I will list for now.  If you have any questions, let me know.

*I LOVE Annabel Karmel’s “Top 100 Baby Purees”

and I’m also starting to try recipes from the Williams-Sonoma “Cooking for Baby” cookbook as well.

http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/cooking-for-baby-cookbook/?pkey=x%7C4%7C1%7C%7C4%7Ccooking%20for%20baby%7C%7C0&cm_src=SCH

Revel in the little moments before they’re gone

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How we wake up in the mornings often has a ripple effect on the rest of our days.  When I am woken up by my “alarm clock” (which is either Zach crying or Eliza shouting “Mommy COME!”), I’m often resentful that I don’t get to decide for myself when I’m done sleeping.

I have decided to start praying a short yet ample prayer as I hurl off the sheets and walk (or stomp) into the room from where the noise emanates.  It goes as follows: “Lord, help me to love my kids today the way you want me to love them.”  If I mean it, it changes my whole outlook.

A few mornings ago I fetched Eliza and Zach and brought them, I’ll admit a bit begrudgingly, into our room as usual.  As Eliza had boundless energy and all I wanted to do was lie there a little longer, I proposed we play her new favorite game.  I said, “Eliza, why don’t we play hide and seek?  You go hide.”  I heard her little feet lead her into her room where she ALWAYS hides between her crib and the wall, and as I started counting, we heard her count along, “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven eight, nine, ten.  OKAY, COME FIND ME!!!”  I looked at Greg and we both giggled about how she doesn’t quite have the rules of the game down.  And I knew in that moment that some day I would miss it.  There are so many of these moments every day that God gives us, and they are little jewels.

It’s like sifting for gold.  On family vacations growing up, we took a lot of road trip stops to sift.  You get your little bucket of dirt and you carefully sieve it through the running water, bit by bit.  You have to go through a whole lot of mud and muck to find the specks of gold.  But boy is it rewarding when you get the good stuff.  And the sifting itself is part of the joy.

Chuck Swindoll has said, “I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.”  I think he’s onto something.  So tomorrow morning, I’m not sure which one of them will wake me up, but I’m going to pray my new prayer, and be abundantly thankful for the blessing of them.  I’ll admit it will be easier if neither of them wakes me between now and then.  (Old habits do die hard.)

“Free” time

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A friend with one toddler and one on the way asked me how I have the time to write this blog.  And the answer is … I don’t, really.  When I’m writing this, I could and probably should be doing something else, like peeing in peace, showering or folding the four loads of laundry that beckon me RIGHT NOW.  Often, though, I want some me-time when either one or both kids is napping.  And the truth is, I have about five half-written blog posts waiting to be completed, but I get interrupted by life.  (This is one of them and I’m set on finishing it before Eliza wakes!)

My life is one of perpetually incomplete projects and half-eaten meals.  I’m not really sure how I make it work, except to detail how a “typical” day might go.  Mind you, there is really no day like another, and errands, events, and naps shortened by the dog barking change everything.  But you’ll get the idea.  I would LOVE to know how your typical day goes and how you spend your time – free or other!

6:30ish – 9 a.m. (when Zach takes his first nap) – non-stop taking care of the dog and kids, getting them up, dressed (well, not the dog), nursed and fed, and playing.  Eliza generally watches a Dora episode while Zach crawls around the kitchen floor while I cook for them. Somewhere in there I try to drink some sips of coffee and eat something.

9 – 10:30ish – eat if I haven’t, check e-mail, unload the dishwasher and/or load it.  If Greg is working from home, sometimes I take Eliza on a quick errand while Zach is sleeping.

11 – 1 p.m. – nurse Zach, play, possibly run an errand, make lunch for both of them, clean it up, and get them down for naps.

1 – 3ish – naps for both of them, when I eat my own lunch if I didn’t manage to do so earlier, fold laundry or do a little cleaning, go through mail, and waste more time on my computer so I feel connected to the world.  Sometimes I work on dinner during afternoon nap-time as well, even if it’s just to chop up some vegetables so I have one less thing to do while they’re both awake.  And sometimes I nap as well, especially lately because Eliza and Zach have both been up in the middle of the night for a few straight weeks.  (This is probably how the laundry is so behind.)

3 – 5:30ish – This is where it gets hairy because I’m generally tired at this point.  I might have another cup of coffee.  I nurse Zach again.  I do whatever I have to do to survive with them and somehow cook.  If Greg is home, at 5 I hand them over to him to watch while I get dinner on the table.  If he’s not home, it’s probably frozen pizza night or I scrounge something up for Eliza and order in for Greg and me after the kids are asleep.

5:30-7 – Eat dinner, bathe them, read stories, pray, and put them to bed.

7:30-10ish – Do more housework, collapse on the couch, think about writing something for this blog, and collapse into bed – but not before “ghost” feeding Zach one last time.

It is definitely a different experience than staying home with just Eliza.  Going from having one kid to having two is not like doubling your work.  It’s more like tripling or quadrupling it.  However, I don’t want to scare my pregnant friend who – in a couple of months – will have “two under two” to deal with.  So if you’re reading this Enna, the answer for you is I have plenty of time to write this blog.  Really.  😉

Baby and toddler-proofing your kitchen

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A few months ago I was nursing Zach on the couch, in the middle of a phone call, when Eliza escaped the room and returned moments later with cracked eggshells in both hands that she had fished out of the trash.  And if you’ve read the “My Little Mimic” post, you know she’s pretty good at breaking glasses.

Every mom probably has stories like the ones above.  The question is not whether you will deal with incidents like them, but how often.  I believe the “how often” is directly proportional to the amount of “learning freedom” you want to give your child.  So, you might find it hard to believe, but I STILL have not put a lock on the cabinet under the sink where the trash can is located.  I want Eliza (and Zach, eventually) to have access to it so she can be helpful and learn to clean up after herself.

With that in mind, here is what I’ve done to our kitchen to baby and toddler proof it:

1) We have a lock on the silverware drawer and Greg has installed magnetic locks on two lower cabinets: the one next to the trash where some cleaning supplies are kept, and the one that holds the most stuff.  I have not locked up my pots and pans or measuring cups or even the drawer with my grater in it.  When she used to reach for the grater, I taught her it is sharp by gently rubbing her fingers against it.  She has stopped playing with it.

2) Growing up, I broke way too many of my mom’s plates and cups (and thus started way too many arguments and fights) to want to have my children frustrate me in the same way.  So I have replaced our every day plates and cups with good quality plastic ones.  I searched long and hard for both, and I can highly recommend Bentley extremeware plates and bowls (http://www.kidsmartliving.com/ew-plastic-plates.html) because they are dishwasher safe on the bottom AND microwave safe, and the Williams-Sonoma DuraClear glassware (http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/duraclear-outdoor-pint-glass/?pkey=coutdoor-glassware).

3) When we renovated our kitchen three years ago, we bought new appliances that include locks on the cooktop and oven.

That’s it (for now – I’m sure a refrigerator lock and a pantry cabinet lock are in my future).  I have heard friends say they put locks on all their lower kitchen cabinets except the one that holds tupperware so their kids can play with it.  I think that’s a great idea if you want to better control what your children can access in the kitchen.  But I must say, it is really nice to be able to hand Eliza some trash, ask her to throw it in the garbage, and watch her little silhouette strut away, hear the cabinet door open, the swish of the trash hitting the bag, and the door closing.  And only rarely does she fish out something she finds interesting.  It’s worth it to me.

Do you have any safety suggestions for the kitchen?

The Miralax is sort of working: another potty training update

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We started Eliza on Miralax twelve days ago to fix her “backup” issue that kept her from wanting to poop on the potty.  She did much better for the first two days, but the half a capful (which is about a half tablespoon) was too much and caused her to have the opposite problem.  It has been difficult to find the right dosage, but it seems that half a teaspoon is the right amount.  She still, however, does a poopy dance, is reluctant to get on the toilet, and has little accidents, even though once she goes in the potty she is uber excited.  We are just going to keep working at it and keep giving her chocolate every time she gets it right.  The pediatrician says we should use the Miralax for a good month after she starts doing all her business consistently in the right place.  I guess that makes sense, because we don’t want to mess up the progress we’ve made.  It’s been interesting to say the least, but we are taking baby steps in the right direction.  Our “Toilet Training in Less Than a Day” has become “Pee Pee Training in Three Days and Never Ending Poop Training.”  The book is definitely deficient in explaining what to do about #2.