Yes, you read that correctly. Did you catch the irony? Greg spent all of Saturday and half of Sunday following the guidance of a book with the above title. It’s the book my mom used to potty train my brothers and me and she says it worked. It makes it seem like all you have to do is put in 3-4 hours of focused training between breakfast and nap time and, voila, your child potties herself. However, either we’re missing something, doing something wrong, or Eliza is a poor student. Or some combination of the above. Regardless, we have so far failed.
The good news is that she peed twice in her potty today and only wet her pants slightly twice. Yesterday, she went in the potty probably eight times, but also wet her pants eight times. You can see the progress. She is learning bladder control and when it is full and when it absolutely needs to be emptied. The bad news is she seems terrified of pooping in the potty and thus has chosen to do that act “elsewhere.” As soon as she gets better at pulling her pants up and down, we’ll add underwear into the equation. My hope is it won’t be as comfortable to do that into underpants. Especially if they have, say, Dora on them, who definitely doesn’t like to be pooped on. (Thanks for that idea, Molly!)
But this is a classic example of my unrealistic expectations. I am the queen (remember I’m Type A) of setting a goal, putting together a game plan for getting there, following it, and getting the expected results. (This is probably why I enjoy cooking and baking.) Children in general don’t work this way. I expected Eliza to be a super student who followed the book example. I expected her to be instantly great at all parts of the process – realizing she needs to go, walking herself to the potty, pulling down her pants, pottying, wiping, pulling up her pants (so they cover ALL of her butt, not just some of it), taking her pot to the toilet, dumping out the pee and tissue, flushing, and replacing the pot.
Instead I have a little girl who has mastered about half of the steps. But I am learning that is okay. In fact, it’s more than okay. She’ll get there. I have to focus on how much she’s learned so quickly. A random woman said to me the other day that our daughters won’t walk down the aisle without being potty trained. One of the reasons people postpone and avoid potty training is because it’s a pain in the butt. It’s one of those parenting moments (whether swift or slow) that everyone talks about and remembers for years to come. What I want to remember about it is that amid all the training, she and Greg started playing a new game where she runs away from him giggling and then runs back at full speed and pounds into him in the most massive bear hug she can muster. She blessed me with a round of it today. And I savored every moment, even though in the back of my mind I was thinking about whether doing that would make her pee herself. (Hey, eventually I will learn to let go.)
And the book? Well, I would neither enthusiastically recommend nor fervently steer you clear of it. If you’re interested, the authors are Nathan H. Azrin, Ph.D. and Richard M. Foxx, Ph.D.