At Eliza’s Kindergarten back-to-school night, her teacher said, “We promise to believe only half of what we hear at school about you if you promise to only believe half of what you hear at home about us.” I hope she was speaking on behalf of all the teachers.
In first grade, one of the things the children do is keep a scrapbook. Eliza brought hers home yesterday. There was one page about things that “crack up” the kids. My daughter said she laughs when her classmate Braxton falls on the floor on purpose. He’s hilarious! She wrote that she laughs when her brother tells a joke. How adorable! She said her daddy makes her laugh when he tickles her. That is so sweet. And how do I make her laugh? Apparently by burping at her.
Burping at her.
I barely ever burp. I’m not only embarrassed now, but I’m embarrassed whenever I burp. I never burp on purpose (I don’t know how to), so when it happens in front of the kids, I’ve burped, and giggled with them as I’ve said, “Excuse me!” Sure, we’ve laughed about it, but my goodness, is that the first thing that comes to her mind when asked to describe how I make her laugh?
Am I that serious the rest of the time???
I decided I wanted an explanation today. I wasn’t accusatory, but I was really hoping for some validation that I actually make my daughter laugh in other ways.
Me: “Eliza, so you wrote that I make you laugh when I burp at you. When do I do that?”
Eliza: “Sometimes you burp at me, mom.”
Me: “Um, I never burp at you. I’ve burped in front of you.”
Eliza: “Well it’s funny.”
Me: “Okay, but out of all the things I do with you, burping is the first thing that comes to mind when you think, ‘What does my mommy do that’s funny?’ Can you think of something else I do that’s funny?”
Eliza: “Farts?”
I don’t even know why I try. Apparently I must be a super-serious mom who makes my child laugh only when I make bodily noises I cannot control. Right? Of course, I know this isn’t true. It’s really easy to get sidetracked in parenting by something your child says or does that could easily hurt your feelings. The truth is probably that the day she made that scrapbook page, I had burped on the way to school and it was fresh in her mind. The truth is if she really thought about it, she could most likely think of some ways I make her laugh that are cute, and endearing, and not embarrassing.
We as parents have to remember to take these situations with a grain of salt and write them down so we can laugh at them for what they are – half-truths. I can choose to allow myself to question my very core if I believe this is what she really thinks of me. Or I can choose to take what she wrote and run it through the sieve of reality.
I think Ms. Kolker, the Kindergarten teacher, was onto something. And I’m pretty sure Mrs. Woodside, her first grade teacher, knows the same. At least I’m banking on my 50/50 odds here.
I can't even pee in peace 