A day in the life


Apparently it can be interesting to read a moment-by-moment recap of someone else’s day.  I stumbled upon one mother of five’s “A day in the life” entry and just felt tired reading it.  I could totally relate, but then somewhat couldn’t imagine having five children.  Yesterday I decided I would jot down the events of my day.  Though a sick doctor’s visit is not typical, the day unfolding with multiple events I had not factored into the plan completely is.

2:24 a.m.  Despite having turned off the baby monitor when Ethan woke me from the basement at 11:30 p.m., I heard him screaming through the air duct and ran downstairs because he’s sick.  (I’m not inhumane; he was in the basement so he wouldn’t wake his brother and sister.)  Cuddled and played with him until 3:30, when I put him in his swing to try to get him to sleep.

4 something a.m.  Fell back to sleep.

6:45 a.m. Woken by children babbling and giggling.  Hollered for them to get dressed.

7:05 a.m. Still lying in bed hopeful kids would obey without intervention.

7:09 a.m.  Got up, got dressed (yes!), cracked the whip, handed the baby to Greg, poured cereal for the older two, made Ethan’s bottle, took it to Greg, went back downstairs and made Eliza’s lunch, got handed the baby so Greg could shower, baby pooped, changed him, poured more milk for Eliza, got her out the door for her carpool, microwaved a breakfast sandwich for Greg and poured him some cranberry juice.  Asked God to help me through the day and to be aware of Him every moment to lead and guide me.

7:50 a.m.  Zach and Ethan were playing in the crib together, so I decided I needed to respace the items on my fireplace mantle while holding Greg’s breakfast.  As I barely moved one frame, another went crashing into me and knocked cranberry juice all over my sweater, and took out my new frame from New Orleans, which crashed and broke into tiny pieces on the floor.  Choking hazard pieces.  I left them there momentarily because I decided I needed coffee.

8:04 a.m. Brewed some coffee, made myself a breakfast sandwich, put Ethan in his high chair to feed him while I ate and imagined (as I do every day) drinking my full cup of coffee before it turned cold.  Wrestled Ethan to give him his inhaler.  Realized I forgot to give Eliza her antibiotics for her UTI.  Contemplated driving to school later to give it to her.

8:40 a.m. Sent some texts.  After Ethan was done eating, I picked him up and realized I was about to set his smooshed blueberry-covered hiney on my white pants, so I leaned him over to wipe his rear and accidentally put his arms within reach of the coffee, which gave him a nanosecond to swat at it and knock the FULL cup all over the floor.  I paused and thanked God that the mug didn’t break (ironically, it was my mug that says “He fills my life with good things”), and then wiped it up with a dirty towel.  Mopped the floor.  Ran downstairs with my cranberry-stained sweater that I had rinsed and decided to run the towels load first.  Mopped the floor a second time because it was still sticky, then remembered I needed to vacuum the picture frame pieces, so I did that.

9:05 a.m. Sent Zach out the door to his school carpool.  Sat down with Ethan to start typing this and decided to put him down for a nap because he kept tapping the keys.

9:27 a.m. wasted 15 minutes on FB, planned the week’s meals, made my grocery list, made myself a protein shake, and folded half a load of laundry when Ethan woke up.  Thank you, God, that he slept.

11:05 a.m. Loaded Ethan in the car and went grocery shopping.  Ethan began hacking so hard and so frequently that I bought him baby Vicks vaporub in the store.  It didn’t help.  Thank you, God, that he didn’t throw up on himself or me while in the store from coughing so hard.  (He coughed up some stuff a few times, but every time he swallowed it.  Gross.)  Drove straight to school to do pickup, got Zach and his carpool friend Emily, and drove her home.

12:30 p.m. Unloaded the groceries, left the car unlocked with my purse inside and the windows down, made lunches, and got half of the groceries unpacked when Ethan began screaming.  He wasn’t eating any food and wouldn’t drink milk.  The phone rang and it happened to be the nurse from the pediatrician’s office to confirm Eliza’s UTI.  I said, “While I have you on the phone, … ” and described Ethan’s symptoms and that he was starting to feel hot.  She said to bring him in at 4:15.  Thank you, God, for that serendipitous call.  Thank you also for making me realize I didn’t know where my cell phone was and that I left my purse in the unlocked car with the window down.  Went and got it.  Thank you also, God, for creating grapes and fermentation and wine.  I questioned if it was too early to have some because there was an uncorked bottle with just a glass left in the fridge.  What the heck.  Took three sips, then realized I had to do carpool in an hour and left it.  At this point, Ethan was screaming and completely inconsolable and hot.  I put on a movie for Zach, changed Ethan’s diaper, took his temperature and found it to be 100.4.  I gave him ibuprofen and put real Vicks on his feet and started to rock him.  He cried for 30 minutes and then fell asleep on me around 1:10, so I called for carpool backup so I could stay home with him instead of pick up kids.  Then I let the school know.  I sent some e-mails, one-handed on my phone, while Ethan slept on me.

2:06 p.m.  Ethan woke up.  I reached out to the high school sitter to see if she could stay at my house with the older two during the doctor’s appointment.  She couldn’t.  I munched on some corn salad and black bean salsa with chips and finally finished off the protein shake I had started drinking four hours earlier.  Revisited the Rose, but after a few sips, decided what I needed more was coffee.  I started a delicates load in the washer and set the dryer again for the towels because they were still wet.  Zach asked to play soccer outside, so we did.  Most of these activities I did with Ethan in my arms, as he was clingy.

3:05 p.m.  Eliza arrived.  I called Greg to see if he could be home early so I could go to the pediatrician without the older two.  He said he could.  Praise you, God.  Typed some of this while Eliza and Zach played outside, did puzzles, and Ethan crawled around a bit.  I remembered to give Eliza her antibiotics.

4:15 p.m.  Arrived for the appointment, where Ethan was promptly examined and his oxygen levels tested because he was retracting to breath (something that’s happened with him before).  He cried and cried, we started a nebulizer, and he fell asleep.  Things got a little better.  Thank you, Jesus, that the pediatrician now carries antibiotics so I didn’t have to go to a pharmacy.  I left at 5:15 and went to Chipotle for dinner.  Good thing I planned for a Chipotle night in my meal planning.  Of course rush hour traffic and a line made this quick stop take 40 minutes.  Texted with neighbors about taking a walk, and another friend about trying to get out to see “Mom’s Night Out.”

5:58 p.m.  Arrived home with the food and stuffed my face while feeding Ethan and fending off the question and request barrage from Eliza and Zach.  Attempted to finish the glass of rose, which was now room temperature and watered down because I had added two ice cubes to it earlier to keep it cold.  I made it through about half the glass.  Then I did dishes and put away the laundry I did fold.  I started to change clothes and wondered, “Why bother?” so I put my shirt back on.  Praise you, God, for Greg and his willingness to care for Ethan and the kids so I could take a walk.

7 p.m. Went on a walk with two neighbor friends who are moms and both have sick kids, too.

7:51 p.m.  Got home and my other friend picked me up to see “Mom’s Night Out.”  I ate a few Hot Tamales and a few handfuls of popcorn, and wished the movie were playing in the theater that sells beer and wine, but had zero other complaints about sitting in a chair to zone out without the possibility of interruption.

10:22 p.m.  Arrived home.  On Ethan watch.  Dead tired.  Going to bed.

10:27 p.m.  Just kidding!  Ethan woke up crying.  He needed more albuterol, which always jacks him up, so Greg and I played with him in our bed until about 11:30, when he guzzled some milk, rubbed his eyes, and let us put him down.

12 something a.m. Fell asleep.

Now it’s 6:45 a.m. and I’ve been up since Ethan woke at 4:56.  I put him back in the basement and he fell asleep.  I lay in bed until 6:11 trying to find sleep again and gave up.  I checked the delicates load in the washer and thanked God it didn’t get mildewy from sitting so long.  I hear the older two stirring, and it’s my day for morning carpool, so the beautiful, messy, full day awaits!!!

What your wife really wants for Mother’s Day is good sex. Or not.


Men, this one is for you.  I have some fantastic, cheap ideas for Mother’s Day gifts for your lady.  I figure I’m just in time, because knowing you, and seeing what the stores were like today, you probably are just getting around to thinking about the fact that tomorrow is an obligatory holiday that requires your attention.  In the spirit of David Letterman’s retirement, and in an attempt to speak your language, here is a Top Ten Mother’s Day gift idea list.

10.  A break.  Make breakfast, lunch and dinner, or plan for how your family will get each of these meals.  Then feed all the mouths that need feeding.  And if any of these meals require work, do the work.  And then clean up.  I can’t tell you how many moms I know don’t want to do a single dish on Mother’s Day.  Put the kids to bed for her.

9.  A bath.  If your wife likes baths, draw her one with one of those little bath fizzes you have no clue what it is (just drop it in!).  Then grab whatever book she’s reading and pour her a glass of wine and send her to the bathroom.  You could do this any time of day.

8.  A homemade card.  Find a writing utensil and use it to compose a nice sentence on some printer paper.  Let the kids do the same.  Or let them color all over your paper.  It doesn’t matter.  Then fold it in half and present it to her.

7.  Time alone.  If you don’t know what to buy her but you want to get her a gift, send her out ALONE (read: even without the baby) to the mall for an hour or two to find something she wants.  If this concerns you, give her a price limit.

6.  Time with the kids.  Even the hardest-working mom needs some special time with the kids today.  Whatever her favorite thing to do with them is (reading?  puzzles?  a hike?  a bike ride?  a board game?), make sure it happens.

5.  Time with you.  If you can arrange it and this is important to her, you will score major points if you can manage to find even 30 minutes to sit across from her and have one of the seemingly meaningless, mostly one-sided conversations she loves to have.  It could even help with #1.

4.  A massage.  Her head, her back, her feet, or her whole body – even if it’s only 5-10 minutes.  Or maybe she likes having her back scratched.  Then do that.

3.  That special “something.”  Maybe she likes jewelry or has dropped hints about a Pandora charm she wants.  Perhaps she loves flowers, or chocolates, or when you take her shopping and pick out clothes for her.  I don’t know what that “something” is.  And if you don’t either, maybe number 2 will help.

2.  Whatever she wants.  Have you tried asking her?  If you are at a loss for how to celebrate the mother of your children on the one day in 2014 you’re supposed to know what would make her happy, then ask her.  “Honey, what can I do to make today as special as you are?”  “How can I thank you enough today for being a great mom?”  “What would make you happy today?”

1.  Good sex.  On her terms.  If you spend the day doing any of the above things, it’s possible you will be rewarded.  I can’t promise anything, but she will probably want you.  Which if you really think about it, wanting you is probably how you got sucked into having to celebrate Mother’s Day in the first place.

Good luck!

Christine