1. buy flip flops for a two-year-old: What on earth was I thinking when I did this? I let Eliza pick out her shoes before heading out to lunch with her and Zach at 9-months. Of COURSE she picked her flippy floppies. When you’re carrying a diaper bag and a 20-pound blob, you really need your two-year-old to be able to walk well, especially when tree trimmers have blocked off the 18 parking spaces near the restaurant to which you are headed and thus you have a good 50 yards to traverse. Eliza slowly, saunteringly, made her way with me. It was unsafe, because she loves to annoy me even more by doing exactly the opposite of what I request when she can tell I’m frustrated. This put her at risk for darting out (as best she could with those dang flimsy chicken wishbone plastic thingies holding the foam to her feet) into traffic. After this incident, I officially hid them. Incidentally, she found them at age 3 and I can say she’s much more adept at walking in them now.
2. go out without some sort of snack for both kids: Kids will not be hungry when you want them to eat, and they will swear they are starving when you have nothing to feed them. I keep age appropriate snacks in my minivan and generally something in my purse. Often, I’m the one who ends up needing the food anyway, because let’s face it, we moms forget to eat.
3. go out without diapers: I generally keep about 4-6 diapers in the car. When I used a diaper bag, I kept 4-6 in it and two in the car. My breastfeeding class teacher told us how she was stuck on an airplane with her baby who had diarrhea and – you guessed it – she ran out of diapers. I figure I am saving myself from the experience by being prepared for it. (If I didn’t always have that many diapers with me, I know Zach would get diarrhea.) We have all been there. Every once in a while, I end up using all the car diapers and forget to replenish the supply. I was so embarrassed a few weeks ago when I took Zach to the church nursery and forgot to bring diapers. Of course, he pooped. (But the people who run the nursery have kids and, thus, they know to keep diapers on-hand.)
What lessons have your kids taught you?
I can't even pee in peace 
That there has to be an easier way to censor your child – verbally. The words “why are you boobs soooooo big” to the YMCA desk lady are already there floating in the air before you can stop it. Any solutions or tips would be awesome. Obviously we do not talk like this at home, ever. My child is like gun that may or may not have a few blanks and a few real ones.
Oh Tracy, that is the million dollar question, isn’t it? Eliza says things like that ALL. THE. TIME. Sometimes with her, it’s the second sentence that comes out AFTER the first embarrassing one that’s the lasting zinger. I am not sure there’s anything you can do when it happens except to talk about it afterwards so you can prevent the exact same thing again. But don’t worry … Jacob will find a way to mutate his censorable comment just enough so he can keep embarrassing you. I think most people find it endearing and can take seemingly rude comments for what they are: child-like curiosity and honesty. I think it’s everyone else’s responsibility to not take it too seriously. I think I see a new post here …